Posts Tagged ‘ man ’

I Hate Love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. And you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

– Neil Gaiman

For Everyone

Whether your team’s just been knocked out of the World Cup.

Whether you’ve had enough of the World Cup.

Whether you’ve just lost your job.

Whether you’ve broken your arm.

Whether you’ve broken your new iPhone 4.

Whether you’ve been dumped.

Whether you’re having a bad day at work.

Whether you have the holiday blues.

Whether you’ve got a splitting headache.

Whether you forgot your partners birthday.

Whether you’ve just lost £20 on the tube.

Whether you’ve chipped your nail.

Or for no reason at all, this is for all of you.

Enjoy.

To Be A Man – Part 2

To Be A Man

He is a friend to a stranger and will open his soul,

He may seem hampered and confused but is always in control,

He is taller in spirit and stronger in heart,

He will stand by you and never break apart,

He has shoulders that bare weight but never do they give way,

He is as cold as the arctic wind yet as warm as a summers day,

He will cook for his lover, his partner, his mother,

He will laugh with his friends like they were his brothers,

He can make a great wall reaching up into the sky,

His tears rarely seen but always felt at goodbyes,

He can look you up and down and figure some things out,

He will grasp his mistakes and learn from his doubts,

He is consumed by fine sight but driven with his heart,

And when you sit close comfortable and relaxed,

He will give you a cheeky grin followed by a loud fart.

To be a man.

To Be A Man

1. Thingy (thing-ee) n.

Female… Any part under a cars hood..

Male… The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female… Fully opening up ones self emotionally to another.

Male… Playing football with only three defenders.

3. Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with ones partner.

Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4.. Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female… A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female… A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.

Female… An embarrassing by product of indigestion.

Male… A source of entertainment, endless humour, self-expression, male bonding.

7. Making love (may-king luv) n.

Female… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male… Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female… A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.