'Kinda rather good'

It’s that time of year again. Mince pies, mulled wine, crap movies, looking at what you’ve not achieved, bikinis, rooftop bbqs, easter bunnies and of course predictions. With so many 2011 predictions floating around, I thought it was time I had a go. How hard could it possibly be; it’s not like anyone ever remembers, or comes back to correct you. So, here’s a few of mine…

Facebook and Google will have a fight, no-one will win, but they will both get fatter.

Google will trademark the word ‘Search’.

2% of Twitter users will post 91% of Tweets.

YouTube will see more cats eating bacon while doing a handstand on top of the Eiffel Tower with a piano on its back.

Someone will get fired over a Tweet.

Someone will make $1million using Twitter.

Bankers bonuses will continue to fall at record levels, and set a new record low of £973billion in the UK.

Google will begin work on their nuclear program to combat China.

Wikileaks will be uncovered as a secret US program, setup by George Bush.

Skype will continue to grow and maintain its top spot as the most active service in the geosocial universe. (Actually true)

Hotmail will be sold to the Arabs.

Someone will trademark the word ‘treacherous’.

Amazon will sell lots of books.

Zuckerberg will win the Nobel Peace Prize for his services to 16-24year old computer geeks.

Amazon will sell more books.

The Internet will break, and get fixed.

The Royal wedding will be leaked.

We will spend $767million on editing our Facebook pictures to look more exciting to our friends.

Heathrow will fail; and an enquiry will be launched.

Amazon will sell Latvia.

Skype HD with Blu-Ray extension will be launched.

Heathrow will fail again.

The PM will say sorry, a lot. Via Facebook.

2011 will continue the trend and be the warmest year since records began, for the 12th consecutive year.

The snow will completely disable England. (3 inches of snow to be precise)

Apple will make a mediocre product. It will sell more than sliced bread. People will kill their grandma to get it. A revised version will be released 3 months later.

One third of all cosmetics will be sold by Microsoft.

An American will marry their iPhone4S.

MySpace will solely be used for selling fake Primark goods to upcoming artists.

The price of water will remain way above and beyond the price of petrol and diesel.

There will be a big screen blockbuster about #hashtags.

‘Media’ will be replaced in the Oxford dictionary with the word ‘everything’.

‘Location location location’ will be the key term. Again.